Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Gay Marriage--A Response

A year ago nearly to the day, the Supreme Court effectively made gay marriage the law of the land. By one vote, the justices determined that thousands of years of history would be set aside for our 21st century western understanding of truth and wisdom. The idea that two members of the same sex could be legitimately married has, until the last 30-40 years, not even been considered an option. This should give pause even to those who are pro gay marriage. States like California, Massachusetts and New York were ahead of the national curve, but the court’s decision sealed the reality that the North American understanding of marriage would be irrevocably challenged, and perhaps changed for good.

People from conservative Jewish, Islamic, and Christian backgrounds were/are justifiably concerned, and in some cases outraged. The reactivity on the part of those in the Christian community was at times confusing. For example, Kim Davis, a clerical worker in Indiana made national news when she refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples. Davis has been married four times and has two kids out of wedlock. Some feel she has no right to impose her biblical morality on others. On another note, in the Pope’s recent visit to the States, he made the front page of the New York Times Online when he hugged an openly gay man. In a recent subway advertisement, I noticed a picture of the Pope with the tag line noting his refusal to be judgmental towards gays. Of all the things the Pope said, while in the States, why highlight that? Our cultural agenda seems intent on moving towards the normalization of a gay lifestyle and orientation.

I recently read an article in Leadership Journal entitled “Consistent Sexual Sacrifice.” The author, an Anglican pastor named Kevin Miller, told the story of an interaction he had with a woman at a wedding reception over gay marriage. Upon telling her he was a pastor the following conversation took place:

“Oh, your’re that group that hates gays.”…. So I said, ‘No, in our church, we have many people who feel same-sex attraction.”
“Oh,” she said looking puzzled. “What do you do with them?”
“We walk alongside them,” I said. They’ve come to us and said, ‘Help me walk the way of Jesus.’ And they know that for many of them their longings will remain and that means a life of celebacy.”
“But what you’re asking of them—isn’t that unfair?”
I said, “It’s hard. I don’t minimize that. But the way of Jesus is hard for everyone. We tell our heterosexual singles, ‘You’ve got to stop sleeping with your girlfriend or your boyfriend.’ We tell a married man, ‘I don’t care how alive you feel around that new person at work; you’ve got to stay faithful to your wife.’ We tell our folks caught up in pornography, ‘Come to our support group, where you’ll admit to other people how much power this has over you.’”

He went on to note that as a pastor he did not try to foster consistent sexual sacrifice in the church in order to convince people outside to become Christians. We can’t convince people who don’t want to be convinced. As P.T. Forsythe put it, ‘No reason of a man can justify God in a world like this. He must justify himself, and he did so in the cross of his Son.’ Scott Saul in his book Jesus Outside the Lines, puts it best when describing the surrender that same sex attracted men and women make to faithful obedience in the area of sexual purity. “…. it is a surrender that each of them has considered worthwhile, not because Jesus is a roadblock to love but because Jesus is love itself.” (pg. 144)

So what is our response to be as the church? Here’s what I suggest: We need to be welcoming and encouraging in terms of the commitment on the part of all believers to sexual purity. Biblically speaking, sex and marriage, between a man and a woman, go hand in hand. Sex and sexual activity outside of marriage which includes pornography, sex between and a man and a woman, or sex between two men, or between two women, are not God’s best for us. In fact, sex outside of marriage period, is a low view of sex.

Never the less, the church should be the place where all are welcomed regardless of what they struggle with. Let’s have an exalted view of sex and an exalted view of marriage. Let’s not focus on gay marriage but on making marriage, between a man and woman, everything God wants it to become. And let’s commit to relax, and avoid the shrill argumentation that has accompanied this debate, even among Christians. It will go a long way towards human flourishing and peace, in our community.

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