People
from conservative Jewish, Islamic, and Christian backgrounds were/are
justifiably concerned, and in some cases outraged. The reactivity on the part
of those in the Christian community was at times confusing. For example, Kim
Davis, a clerical worker in Indiana made national news when she refused to issue
marriage licenses to gay couples. Davis has been married four times and has two
kids out of wedlock. Some feel she has no right to impose her biblical morality
on others. On another note, in the Pope’s recent visit to the States, he made
the front page of the New York Times Online when he hugged an openly gay man. In
a recent subway advertisement, I noticed a picture of the Pope with the tag
line noting his refusal to be judgmental towards gays. Of all the things the
Pope said, while in the States, why highlight that? Our cultural agenda seems
intent on moving towards the normalization of a gay lifestyle and orientation.
I
recently read an article in Leadership
Journal entitled “Consistent Sexual Sacrifice.” The author, an Anglican
pastor named Kevin Miller, told the story of an interaction he had with a woman
at a wedding reception over gay marriage. Upon telling her he was a pastor the
following conversation took place:
“Oh, your’re that group that hates gays.”…. So I said, ‘No,
in our church, we have many people who feel same-sex attraction.”
“Oh,” she said looking puzzled. “What do you do with them?”
“We walk alongside them,” I said. They’ve come to us and
said, ‘Help me walk the way of Jesus.’ And they know that for many of them
their longings will remain and that means a life of celebacy.”
“But what you’re asking of them—isn’t that unfair?”
I said, “It’s hard. I don’t minimize that. But the way of
Jesus is hard for everyone. We tell our heterosexual singles, ‘You’ve got to
stop sleeping with your girlfriend or your boyfriend.’ We tell a married man,
‘I don’t care how alive you feel around that new person at work; you’ve got to
stay faithful to your wife.’ We tell our folks caught up in pornography, ‘Come
to our support group, where you’ll admit to other people how much power this
has over you.’”
He
went on to note that as a pastor he did not try to foster consistent sexual
sacrifice in the church in order to convince people outside to become
Christians. We can’t convince people who don’t want to be convinced. As P.T.
Forsythe put it, ‘No reason of a man can justify God in a world like this. He
must justify himself, and he did so in the cross of his Son.’ Scott Saul in his
book Jesus Outside the Lines, puts it
best when describing the surrender that same sex attracted men and women make to
faithful obedience in the area of sexual purity. “…. it is a surrender that
each of them has considered worthwhile, not because Jesus is a roadblock to
love but because Jesus is love itself.” (pg. 144)
So
what is our response to be as the church? Here’s what I suggest: We need to be
welcoming and encouraging in terms of the commitment on the part of all
believers to sexual purity. Biblically speaking, sex and marriage, between a
man and a woman, go hand in hand. Sex and sexual activity outside of marriage which
includes pornography, sex between and a man and a woman, or sex between two
men, or between two women, are not God’s best for us. In fact, sex outside of
marriage period, is a low view of sex.
Never
the less, the church should be the place where all are welcomed regardless of
what they struggle with. Let’s have an exalted view of sex and an exalted view
of marriage. Let’s not focus on gay marriage but on making marriage, between a
man and woman, everything God wants it to become. And let’s commit to relax,
and avoid the shrill argumentation that has accompanied this debate, even among
Christians. It will go a long way towards human flourishing and peace, in our
community.
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