The
prophet Isaiah notes Israel’s penchant to assume that they have their lives
under control. In Isaiah 9:13 we read, “The people did not turn to him who
struck them, nor inquire of the Lord of hosts.” That means that there were
signs, hints that something was awry. Something was amiss. They weren’t firing
on all cylinders spiritually, morally, relationally, and all they did in
response was plan to do more of the same (cf. v. 10). “We’ll just try harder,”
they thought. But that wasn’t the point! The point is that they were so
unaware, so unmindful, so oblivious to things that they missed the signs that
something was wrong. And as a result, they experienced the destructive consequences
of their lack of understanding. They were profoundly unaware. So are we!
The
gift of self-awareness is granted when we take the time and energy to ask, “Why
did I do that? Why did I say that? Why do I act the way I act, think the way I
think, feel the way I feel?” Then sit there in that. Listen. Be still. Be
silent. Wait. Most people crowd out the time it takes to do the hard inner work
that leads to self-awareness. We fill the silent spaces in our lives with
noise—TV, cell phones, internet, activity, exercise, relationships, busyness, etc.
We can’t hear through all the noise. So we aren’t self-aware.
God
wants to cut through the static and get our attention. For the nation of
Israel, it was a no brainer. They were in covenant relationship with him and
he’d told them exactly what would happen if they broke the covenant so it
should have been no surprise. Read Deuteronomy 28-29 for a list of “This is
what’s going to happen if you do this or don’t do that.” It surprised them
anyway! That’s how unaware they were.
So
what are some signs that self-awareness is an issue for us? Here are a couple
thoughts: constant stress that seems to never end, depression, the inability to
get along, a calloused heart to obvious sin, an unwillingness to reconcile with
others, the inability to feel, dirty fighting (threats, yelling, giving others
the silent treatment, etc.), and things like that. Self-awareness is
terrifying. Because once you are aware of something, you are forced to deal
with it. In my case, I discovered to my embarrassment, that anxiety had been a
controlling issue in my life for years. I was totally unaware of it. It
alienated people, particularly my kids. It produced an unhealthy reactivity in
my work. And it was exhausting. After years of living with it, I finally faced
the fact that I was an anxious person. Knowing that hasn’t solved it. But being
aware of it has given me recourse when it rears its ugly head. Awareness is
half the battle. In fact, self-awareness is one of the keys to spiritual and emotional
health. Sixteenth century reformer John Calvin once wrote, “You’ll never know
God unless you know yourself.” That’s on the firsts few pages of his Institutes
on the Christian religion, one of the most famous books in Church history.
My
hope is that we’ll all take advantage of the gift of self-awareness. And
because of the gospel we can do so with joy. There is nothing God doesn’t know
about you! Because of Christ work on the cross, if you’ve turned from sin and
put your faith in him, there is nothing you can do to make him love you any more,
and nothing you’ve done will cause him to love you any less. You can become
self-aware, then deal with you stuff, in total confidence that it won’t do
anything but make your relationship with him, yourself, and others better. So
with that in mind, take the self-awareness challenge.
