Getting Started

A few years ago I got an email from a friend, “Well,” he said, “I’m jumping into it.” He was referring to blogging. Frankly, it didn’t appeal to me at the time. Why share my thoughts and feelings on a venue that even Osama Bin Laden has access to? But things have changed. I want this blog to be a place for me to share the things on my mind with the people most important to me. Right now, there’s a lot of things on my mind and I have a lot of people who are important to me.

The blog is called the 22nd mile because I run marathons. I have not always done this. It is a new “the kids are grown and out of the house” hobby that has captivated my imagination. I love to run. In high school and college I was a wrestler. I loved the organized aggression of the sport. It was a huge part of my life and early in my personal formation the sport, the teammates, and my coaches shaped me dramatically. Now, later in life, running is doing the same thing. The 22nd mile of a marathon is the place where I hit the wall. Others hit it earlier. Some elite runners say they never hit it (we all suspect they are liars) but mile 22 is where I hit it. The wall is that place that defines the kind of runner you will be. The wall is the place where your body says, “I’ve had enough. We are stopping this nonsense, now!” But you don’t stop. You can’t stop. How you handle the wall says a lot about you as a runner and as a person. In fact, how you handle the wall may actually define you as a runner or as a person. But then life is like that isn’t it. Life is a series of walls and how we handle them can often define who we become.

I am also a surfer. I am a member of the Surfrider Foundation. I love the water and the thrill of catching a wave. I’ve been surfing for nearly twenty years. My ability to do it was sharpened when we lived in San Diego. Now we live in New York City. I surf year round in New York (yes, it gets real cold) and at this posting, I am also working on the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii—wave heaven. I guess I need a physical challenge to keep me sharp. While running is a hobby, I am beginning to wonder if surfing is more of a calling. Surfing, more than running, gets me closer to the thing that drives me the most, the thing that really defines who I am. Many of us define ourselves by what we do, or what we’ve done, or how much education we have, or who we know, or whatever. I admit that I have been defined myself by those things in the past and to some extent in the present. So what really defines me now?

At age 15 I became a devoted Christ follower and now, more than ever, he defines me. Notice I didn’t say the “C” word (I mean the word Christian). Frankly, the term Christian, though it is a perfectly good word and found in the New Testament, has begun to turn me off. This isn’t because it seems to now be in vogue to no longer describe ones self as a Christian, even if you are. That turns me off too. I would say I have been wrestling with this word for probably two to three years now because it has become a loaded term in our culture. It seems to mean a person who is a “right wing republican who is often uptight about life and who can’t face his or her own issues yet everything is always great because Jesus saved them” kind of word. That’s not me, or at least it is not me anymore. That has changed over the years. I am a follower of Jesus.

For my friends who are not sure where you sit or stand in regards to Jesus or religion (another word I don’t like) please know that I accept you as you are. But because I am a follower of Jesus, and because he defines me, and because I love that relationship, sometimes that will come out in my speech. We all talk about those things we really enjoy whether it is something or someone! As a matter of fact, sometimes I wonder if what we worship comes out in what we talk about most. Hmmm. Maybe not. Though all of us worship or serve something or somebody. Even Dillon said that. At any rate, if you want to know me, this is part of me. For those of you who are followers of Jesus, even Christians described by the above mentioned “right wing republican…,” I am at a point in my life where the religiosity of our faith is hard for me. You’ll have to forgive and forebear me because in my posts I probably won’t always be a popular guy with you. The scary thing is that I am a pastor and it is my job to facilitate change in churches that are often very much into being religious. Does God have a sense of humor or what?! More on that later or visit restoringchurches.org.

Other than Jesus and my hobbies, I enjoy my family. My wife of twenty-seven years has a keen sense of what goes on in people’s lives, often without them even knowing it. She is a courageous woman who has given her life to serve others. We have moved across the country twice—and we are still married. She is a New York City public school teacher. I am outgoing. She is an introvert. I am expressive. She tends to be more subdued. I blurt things out in conversations. She tends to be quiet and take things in. We have worked very hard on our marriage. This has been painful but it has produced a depth of intimacy that is quite enjoyable. We’ve run through the wall together and we are moving towards the finish line and still running!!

I have three girls and two sons in law. Laurel is married to Noah. She is a lot like me. Our high school graduation pictures look like we are twins. She teaches school in New York City. She is 23. Katie is a senior in college and is enjoying life single and young. She dances and wants to be small business owner of a dance studio. She just turned 22. Lyndi is 20 and married to Chris. They are the newest married of our kids. They are expecting a baby in the spring. Chris will be heading into the military shortly (we think) and they live in southern California, the land of broken dreams. Lyndi went there to escape New York. Now she wants to escape southern California! People are shallow there. It is true. But it is our second home. Jan is a native Californian and we were married there, we’ve lived there, helped start a church there, went to school there, vacationed there, have many good friends there, and all our relatives on Jan’s side of the family live there. What can I say? Dude—it’s like totally our second home!

This blog will be the place where I put thoughts on books I'm reading, music, art, bible, pleasure, surfing, running, and relationships on line for everyone to see and interact with. I suspect I’ll add a journal once every week or two once I get things up and running. I'll also add some pictures of my family and friends. In the meantime, thanks for reading this and please feel free to post a response. In the future, I’ll be taking pieces of this first post and placing into different sections of the blog. This is my first stab at it so it will take some time to figure it all out.